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Our ref: SBR/101
From: Alianora La Canta, 1-51 Happy Street, Mighty Mouth, Giggleshire, England, GI21 8MM
Date: 20 November 2009
Speech Bubble Racing would like to confirm their confidence in their future in Formula 1 by announcing its driver line-up for 2010. We are pleased to announce that Kimi Raikkonen will be joining the team. In exchange for lending us his vast experience, we will demonstrate to him how to be more talkative.After all, the young are supposed to be quick of speech*.
His team-mate will be up-and-coming Chinese pilot Thingy Ma Jig. We're not sure if that's his real name, but we are assured by his agent, Mr Noisy, that he is a real talent who will bring substantial benefits to the team.
Journalists up and down the pit lane are already rejoicing.
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* - In the unwritten tradition of press people not sourcing their quotes unless they're new, I will put the source of the modern quotations I challenged myself to include after the press release proper. In this case, the quote is from Yvor Winters' "On Teaching the Young". Pretending to be a press officer for the evening, I haven't bothered to check whether I'm using it in context...